Two beautiful girlfriends lost their Dads today. A dear friend passed away a few weeks ago, one other last year. I just lost a close friend too who has been a witness to my life for nearly ten years; but in the last year or so, I could barely recognise him and how we slowly became strangers…. I mourned his loss and then accepted it. Sometimes, losing someone allows us to find them. Distance and absence help us see someone who has been close to us more clearly. Through time, one starts to understand what has happened. I’m sure I will, but I never would want to go back to the same thing we’ve left. I guess nothing is permanent, things change. We can’t hold on to what we have, and we move on, but I still believe in love that is constant and eternal – I know it exists, I believe in undying friendships, in mutual respect, in fond memories shared with loved ones, in reminiscing fathers and mums who have gone home to be with the Lord. Tonight, I realise, nothing ends.
‘Divine Hand’ is peeling me
such that there is no other way but to let go of all the things
I once thought could give me security.
Like jobs or the need to affirm someone’s love,
or have enough money and beautiful clothes,
or even have a pretty face and a shapely body.
Somehow they all mean nothing now,
Not that they are really nothing, but in a sense they are.
They don’t mean anything when you are in the centre of ‘Divine’ will,
Somehow you know, you can let go, you are not in want,
and you do what you like to do, within the bounds of wisdom and decency.
There is some uncertainty, and yet you are quietly confident…
Like a child without fear,
just trusting…not struggling…
yes, such freedom.
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A beautiful friend died last week from breast cancer. She was a girl who loved life, and who existed because of friendships. That’s what she lived for, friends. Whilst grieving and yet being reflective, I realized death is something that proves to me that there is spirit, soul and body. A person dies because the body, the vessel, is no longer capable of housing the spirit and the soul. It has been ravaged by sickness, or in some cases, by other unfortunate circumstances, but always by factors that stop the body from being capable of carrying its functions. We are continuously decaying physically and deteriorating. The thing that makes us sad of course, is that the body provides the avenue for us to relate to the ‘real’ person; when it dies, that point of contact is no longer there; that is, the physical realm. And that is so difficult, as we do miss people that we love and care about. We want to be near them, talk to them, and for those who love, sometimes the pain of separation can be unbearable. For such is the nature of man, or woman. We are beings who long to express feelings in physical ways, be it a kiss, an embrace, holding of hands, or even a look.
BUT….the soul and the spirit are alive, they continue living. The good news is the soul and spirit are what we are, the real person, the substance of the unique person that we are. Sure the body is distinct, but it is transient, it decays. The body that we have as a baby only stays for a few months, then we keep growing until we reach adulthood, and eventually, old age. If we look at our photos, we are definitely so different from year to year, decade to decade, as time moves on. But our soul, our spirit are the same. They don’t change, and here lies the comfort that I have in knowing that my friend, and other loved ones that have departed, even when they’re gone, are still with me, with us….absent in the body but present in the spirit. How beautiful to think of life that way, that a loved one’s presence can remain with us, even after physical death. Where then, is death’s sting?
I look at love in the same way. There is no reason why we can’t love someone from a distance. Physically, a loved one may not be with us, may have gone on to other relationships, or other situations, where time, space and circumstances have caused barriers and it becomes easier to let go, but the beloved’s presence remains with the significant other, when two souls are deeply connected. Love, true love, where there is deep connection, is a mystery. This invisible bond transcends the physical, just like life. When we become conscious about these things, it feels like we are getting a glimpse of the eternal, and it makes us aware that there are other dimensions in the world apart from what we know in the physical realm. And I don’t mean this in a very religious kind of way, but rather, in a spiritual sense. Not everything can be perceived by the physical senses – as Saint Exupery has said, ‘It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye’. Life, love, the world around us, are mysteries that can only be revealed and explained if we receive with open hearts, when we become aware to see and receive them, when we love completely and unselfishly. When we transcend the physical, we will experience a new level of awareness and consciousness, a liberating sense of freedom that will help us unravel the mysteries of life and death. What an amazing state to be in! I believe these are achieved through three wonderful things we have always known – the presence of love, faith and hope in our lives.
~ written by Rowena Isidro